Why Sensitivity Training Should Be Mandatory For Airline Employees

Accepting people with different abilities is the wave of the future and the present. Gone are the days of keeping differently abled children and adults at home. I have recently read two stories that I wouldn't have known a thing about had they not been posted on the airline companies Facebook pages and then shared by others. We have all heard the stories of different medical needs being ignored or exposed which resulted in humiliated and mortified passengers but the insensitivity on the part of crew and staff  is escalating and we are now in a truly horrifying state.

Lives are being affected, in some cases long term, by airline staff and the choices they are making. They are choosing to uphold the company policy so strictly that they have long since dumped humanity and plain common courtesy. I would like to share these two stories in hopes of increasing awareness and of course as always reminding everyone to consider others when making decisions and assumptions.

I am pasting the original story I read on Facebook and then a link to the things that the airline is doing in response and of course a reprint of the story etc. It was horrifying to read it the way I did before anything was done to accomodate them. Most everyone is clear that action was taken only because the post went viral.

SAD STORY...

i witnessed today, what i consider to be the worst of humanity.

standing in line at an @alaska airlines ticket check in, in redmond oregon, i watched as a disabled/mentally and physically challenged couple were left standing in the front of a line by the ticket attendant ... who didn't say a word- no "final call, redmond to seattle"-- no "if you are flying to seattle, it's too late to make this flight," etc-- nothing.

when a different agent appeared 1/2 hour later-- the flight still had not left. i asked for a quick "side bar" with the new agent-- telling her that this couple needed some leeway-- some additional help. she quickly informed me that "we treat every single customer the exact same here"-- she was annoyed by my insistence and advocacy.

i tried to explain to her that her colleague had left the man and his companion alone, without saying a word to them. that they were "different" and that it would be ok for her to make exceptions for them (uttering something like, "exceptional circumstances sometimes require, exceptional responses").

(The attendant) finally agreed to try to get the man on the flight-- but he couldn't bring his luggage (ug).

he had a hard time walking-- no one offered him a wheelchair or asked how they could be helpful. he stumbled off toward the safety inspection line.

predictably, he didn't understand/comprehend their restriction of his luggage, and got stuck in security.

while this was going on, the ticket attendant and myself were continuing to have quiet words about how they needed extra help-- she told me that "i didn't know the whole story"-- that he had the "same problem yesterday, showing up late to his first flight."

i told her that i thought there was a real reason he was struggling to make it anywhere on time, and that this was cause for some compassion and some exceptions to rules, and some additional assistance.

by now i was fully annoying her. she had her rules, and she was growing tired of my moral compass.

security ended up sending the man back, telling him in the confusion around his luggage that there was no longer enough time for him to make his airplane, without the plane running late.

the original attendant ..., returned, and lightly shamed the couple for being late for the second time in a row, telling them there was no way the man could get to bellingham before 9pm now.

the man and woman broke into tears. his "nervous system hurky/jurkyness" became profound. he begged her to help him. nothing.

i asked tiffany to go on with the kids, that i wanted to stick around and advocate for this couple for the 20 minutes i could and still make my own flight...

i asked the man for his name. (He) he and his companion were easily 70 something. he was crying something fierce by now. i asked him what his condition was. he said he had late stage parkinsons, and that his companion had MS.

i asked to speak to the on site manager. (He) listened to me politely tell him the story about the man with parkinsons, and the woman with MS, and how none of his staff did anything to offer them additional assistance when it was clear to all 20 of us in line, how much they needed it and deserved it, and then he explained to me that the "laws don't allow alaska airlines to provide anyone, for any reason "special treatments."

i wrote that comment down, word for word. he responded by saying, "so great, you are going to take me completely out of context aren't you?" i said, "what other context is there?" i asked you why your staff didn't help these people, and, in that exact context, you backed up your employee who told me that everyone is treated exactly alike. he stood by this position.

the end of this story is sad to the core. after wrapping up with (the manager), i talked to (the man) for a bit longer.

this trip- redmond to seattle/seattle to bellingham, was allowing him to see his daughter one final time, who works on the ferry system and is out on the water for most of her time-- she was scheduled to meet him in bellingham at 3pm today. he said that it was a "bucket list" item that he could no longer realize. i asked him if she could get off the ferry and wait for him tomorrow-- and he said that she was only available for this brief time today-- that he was to join her on the ferry, and that otherwise she'd be out on the water for days-- his trip was done. he couldn't re-schedule. he was simply, now, in defeat, asking for his money back.

Here is the link http://www.ktvz.com/news/Bend-man-s-Facebook-post-sparks-firestorm-airline-action/-/413192/15970294/-/item/0/-/150hgx1/-/index.html

Many people that worked with the company were called in and he had already experienced this lack of humanity twice. I'm still sad for his experience regardless of how they tried to make up for it.

The next story is a bit different in that it is more personal to me but aside from that, it is a special needs teen who is just trying to get by like everyone else. Carly was required by a flight attendant to put her ipad away, even after explaining that she is nonverbal and uses it as a communication device. She told the employee that she is a frequent flyer and that she has always been allowed to keep it with her. The pilot told the flight attendant that it was fine and would not interfere with their systems but this employee insisted on sticking to her guns. While we all understand that for years we have believed that electronics have the potential to interfere with the airplane computers, the pilot was not concerned.

What upset me as much as the story itself were two comments that I read on Carly's Facebook page in response to her post about this story. One man said " paper and pen will do just fine." I don't even fault him for not knowing that Carly has difficulty writing due to her condition. Instead I want the man to wear a muzzle and duct tape during takeoff and landing just in case he feels the need to speak because, well like he stated paper and pen work just fine. The second comment was from a woman and she didn't make the comment I would expect which of course is regarding the ipad interfering with electronic systems and her rational fear of safety. No, instead she commented on the fact that she would rather not be smashed in the head by a flying ipad! Really? So not only would the ipad take flight instead of falling to the floor and sliding forward, defying all laws of gravity, but it would manage to jimmy it's way between the seat back, find her particular seat and bash her in the head. Now if that isn't ignorance at it's finest..

Here is the link to Carly's story. http://my-family-blog.net/2012/08/13/carly-fleischmann-nonverbal-teen-of-carlys-voice-made-to-put-away-ipad-during-flight/

I'm not suggesting that protocols are not put into place for good reason. Safety and order are a first priority. But just like any situation, there is always room to assess and make necessary alterations when a particular set of rules is not working in a case and the bending of a rule would benefit an outcome much more than hinder it. I look forward to the term "friendly skies" living up to it's name again in the very near future.

For now aside from the fact that we are about to take our special needs son on his first flight ever, I will stay as close to the exit rows of airline politics as I possibly can.

Rough Morning

As a mommy to a little boy with special needs, I sometimes forget that the rest of the world doesn't always get to know how amazing and perfect and wonderful he is. First, he looks like everyone else (probably cuter than many) and he blends in for the most part so until his social and speech delays come to the surface, many people don't even notice. His sweet and fun personality come through shortly after these delays show themselves but only certain people get to really experience how unbelievably amazing this boy really is. When I tell people how lucky I am and when I tell him every single night that I am the luckiest mommy ever, I one hundred percent truly mean it.

Having said all this, it doesn't mean that I am immune to the ignorance, lack of education on the subject and all out shortage of compassion that exists in our world. I don't believe that most people who say or do hurtful things, mean to come off the way that they do. Anyone that knows me, knows that my mission in life is to find the good in any person and any situation. Somehow though, it's easier to take hurtful things that affect you as a person than it is to handle things that affect your children.

In the past I have gotten comments from friends in my life (some who are educators) that range from "I didn't know he was doing so bad" after I had just spent 10 minutes saying how wonderfully he was doing, to the question of whether I had gotten a Flu shot while pregnant.  Just to clear up any future questions, I didn't eat Feta cheese and mercury based fish and whatever else was on the list. I had a perfect pregnancy and as far as I'm concerned, a perfect child. But I digress.. People are people and for some, the idea of doing what they think they can do to prevent having a child like mine is more important to them than common kindness. I only wish children like mine on special people because only certain people deserve the treasures that I get to experience daily. We work hard over here I don't pretend otherwise, but the love and rewards are wonderful and they come often.

So today I was simply taking my son for an eye exam so he can start school in the fall. The district is accepting our "inconclusive" result from prior exams but I wanted to try one more time. He knows all the answers but that 20 feet between his body and the eye chart turns out to be a very distracting 20 feet. I simply want to be sure before he starts school that he isn't straining in any way, for his own comfort. I told the front desk at my doctor's office that I wanted someone patient who could devote a few extra minutes to the process and they said they understood. They could not however predict who we  were going to get and as luck would have it today we got Cruella Deville.

She was snarky and sassy from the minute we went to the room and it was downhill from there. The eye chart has one side with obscure shapes and one side with numbers and letters. When we asked him to show us the objects he would easily point but had a tougher time verbalizing what he was seeing from 20 feet away. The kid taught himself to read at 3 years old so knowing the information was not a question. The nasty woman went from bad to worse as the seconds ticked by and my hope for a stress free and calm exam effort quickly went out the window. When I asked her if we could give him another minute to just take in his surroundings she snapped and said she had to go give shots.

She stormed off and I followed her to the common area where I was clearly upset and vocalized what was happening. I told the staff that we were very flexible in booking our appointment time and simply asked for someone who was patient who could help us get an accurate reading and wasn't in a rush. By now I was welling up and a woman who has always been great to my boys came and tried the exam again. The problem was that I was a wreck by that time and he was over it. I went into the exam not really caring if we got an accurate result but simply wanting to give it a fair try.I left hysterical.

I really don't get knocked down very often but for some reason this was such a significant experience. It just really hit me that if we can't get compassion and understanding in our own doctor's office, what is my baby to expect from the rest of the world?! Most everyone that meets him immediately loves him including typically developing children and we always have a wonderful experiences when we go to our pediatrician but this situation was a gross dose of reality that was just too much for me to swallow.

I can't force myself to believe that only people directly affected by a situation or that are in a similar boat, can have compassion for others. I think kindness is something that people either have or they don't. Not everyone holds doors for others or treats strangers with respect but in the support industry I believe that if you don't have compassion or kindness at your core, you really should choose another path. Skills and training are not enough. Just because you received your certification does not mean you are qualified.

This experience was a blow for me because I know my amazing son will be faced with ignorance many more times along his journey. The upside to this miserable morning though is that I am re-inspired to continue educating others and reminding people that just because they think they know what he has to offer does not mean that they have even scratched the surface. My son's teacher once said that they like to put diagnosis and details on the child's file to which I said please don't put any labels on our file. If they want to know my son then they are more than welcome to go meet him and get to know him! It is really time for everyone to realize that just because they are different does not mean that they aren't wonderful people, peers and friends. It may take a few more seconds of time and patience but the payoff is well worth it.