Rough Night-Why the Open Forum of Facebook Isn't Always Good

Phew, this is a tough post to write. Facebook has a feature that allows you to view the posts of people that you don't know, if a friend you have in common has commented on the post. Last night I happened to see a comment and the conversation was so striking that I couldn't look past it no matter how hard I sat wishing that I never had stumbled upon it.

The post was written from a profile with a woman's name and photo and info that stated that they were a human rights attorney. The post read " What is with all the special needs kids in the regular park. I thought they had parks for them." There I was settling into bed for the night and suddenly my blood pressure was through the roof. There was a string of posts and responses that had started the night before and they were all along the same lines. The comments were graphic and deep and horrifying. This person was making comments about children drooling and how parents of special needs kids are so proud of their kid for just sliding down a slide. They talked about the poor service staff they have experienced in public places and compared them to special needs individuals. The posts went on and on and they were hard to handle.

A friend of mine thought it might be spam but when the person was responding to the outraged posters they knew personal things about some of the people. The process went on for hours and it was super intense. They were just such extremely harsh words and the person kept digging deeper with each reply. Later, a friend of mine said she got a private message from the person saying it was all fake and they had done it to start chaos. It became clear over time that it wasn't a woman writing these things and it was later confirmed that it was a guy doing the posting with a fake profile.

I tried to get over it and settle down. This wasn't just the special needs, mama bear reacting this was a human reacting. These were the most outrageous words I had ever seen and they cut to the core. The post was deleted but I couldn't let it go. I sent a message to "Him" and the life coach in me came out not too long after my initial negative approach. He said to me "It's all fake" I did it to prove a point that this would get around the community in minutes and I was right. He said just as I had thought, my mother called me by 9:45 pm asking me if I knew this girl. All the women were talking to each other about this horrible person. He told his mother he knew her. He did not tell her that he was her. I told him that he should, she would be so proud.

I explained to him as calmly as I could that it was not fake because the words that he said were real. The thoughts he had came from somewhere and that we would take OUR special needs 100 times, over his special needs.  He was cruel. I will spare you the full details of his comments but my gut continues to be in knots over the fact that someone could form these thoughts. I told him that he should tell his mother that it was him and that he can tell me all day long that it's fake but that when he goes to bed tonight he will know that he did wrong. He hurt people, he was insensative and he chose the wrong path to prove his little fun project. This was wayyyy beyond an episode of "What Would You Do?"

During this email conversation I felt like I was talking to a young and immature boy. We still don't know who he is but for his sake and ours I do hope someone comes forward and says they know him. I wish I could let it go but it was too much. He told me that he volunteered for 3 years at a therapeutic horse riding facility with special needs children. Still can't put into words the horror I feel over that. This person is living a double life if they can do that by day and say these words by night. This was a situation where you know you aren't getting through to a person and you shouldn't bother debating the facts but I do feel that he knows loud and clear that he is a person who is very much lacking.

I went to bed so late and was so drained when I finally did. I can't believe the time that he had on his hands to create a fake profile, recruit several friends and proceed with this hoax. He told a friend of mine that he would soon shut down the profile and start another fake one. This is the exact situation in life where you remind yourself that you can't change people but can only change the way you react to them.

This situation took a toll on me. I think any minority he had chosen to insert in the ploy would have hurt me. Hate is a hard one to swallow and I spend my life trying to share goodness and show others the bright side of life. This person could not be shown. I did tell him that he should surround himself with the special needs community as soon as possible because he is missing out and that I would tell The Friendship Circle to expect a large donation today from him as an apology for his ignorance. Hey I can dream right?

It's time to find a way to let this experience go. One thing I know for sure is that if I am ever faced with the person this truly is, not the coward who hid behind a fake profile, he will walk away after his time with me, with a very clear understanding about the shallow life he leads.

Time to sip my coffee and try my very best to get my mind back on the right path. Amazing how things online can knock you so far down. Lucky for me I have the most amazing hubby and little boys who make me smile everyday.

I also want to take a second to say that the people who read this trolls posts, were the kindest and most supportive friends you can imagine. Everyone should go to bat for the cause of others. There really is an upside to everything.