Inclusion VS...Not

This summer I decided to avoid all therapy camps and enroll my son in a traditional camp so that he could take a break from his work and just swim and play. He spent the entire first session with an inclusion counselor who helped him stay on track with his typically developing Bunk. She was not going to be at camp the last week of second session so we knew we would probably be working with someone else. At one point during the summer, an employee started telling me about the non-inclusion, special needs camp and while I had seen it and heard about it, I hadn't thought about putting Nash in that group until after we spoke. She explained how the activities were geared toward kids with his interests. When the director heard that I expressed interest in the other program, she offered to let N in for the last week of 2nd session which was the perfect solution because he did not yet have an assigned counselor to work with him after his had to leave.

I asked various staff members to keep an eye out this week to compare his experiences. Yesterday the director called just to tell me how happy my boy was and what a great day he was having. Each counselor I pass by during drop off and pick up stops me to tell me what a great week he is having. Today when I picked him up I noticed that he was wearing a shirt I've never seen. I immediately thought that he had an accident or spilled on it. I asked who the shirt belonged to and the unit head said "it's his, we had super hero day today so we made it." The most adorable Captain America shirt with matching cape and mask all that look professionally made. They make each activity perfect for him. Even the art projects he has been bringing home are absolutely perfect for him.

All summer I thought I was giving him a great experience and I do love the idea that the kids in his original bunk would help cheer him on and encourage him to try activities but now I realize he is right where he belongs. Next year we will start the summer in this program and if he feels like he wants to try the inclusion camp we can always move him but I think he will feel right at home. An energy filled, positive group with kids who are excited to "be his friend" (I met his group and they were excited he was joining them.)

Inclusion has always been the ultimate goal but happiness and comfort seem to have taken first place. We are lucky because our babes is really happy anywhere but I'm so thrilled that he is beyond happy in his new program and we now have a clear decision for next summer.

 

 

 

 

 



Think Twice When Someone Stares At You

Yesterday my son had his third experience as the "special needs model" for the camp pool instruction course. Each year camp hires advocates for the special needs kids and since my babes has a love affair with the swim director, she has him come and demonstrate for the incoming counselors. They get a general idea of what it will be like to work with the special needs kids in the pool and my little man gets to have a blast. Everybody wins.

As we were leaving the pool, a lady walked out the door with us.  As we walked down the hall together, my son who took  years to make eye contact and notice people around him, looked at the lady and sort of stared at her face for several seconds. I of course was so excited by his observation but just as I was smiling to  myself, the lady said "I must be really funny looking." I completely get her joke and the fact that all she saw was some kid staring at her oddly but still I was a little surprised. I think when you see your child progress and go from barely noticing people to totally being interested, you only see the glory in the new development not the social awkwardness that the action causes. I was a little shocked that her response was negative even though she was trying to be light and playful. I told her that of course he wasn't thinking that about her and that we celebrate when he looks at people and that he is still learning the importance of eye contact and connecting with people. I think right after her comment she realized that she may have been a little rash and just said "you're right." Still, we don't want to put people off as we progress but we are grateful for open-mindedness and leniency.

So, Should you be walking down the street and a child starts to stare into your face or ask you to repeat after him when he says "do do do" please consider obliging him and not taking any strangeness personally. These little quirks that we happen to adore, are evidence of amazing progress that comes from hours, days, weeks and years of hard work.
If everyone acted the same as each other, we would surely be bored and like I often say "we haven't been able to cure Cancer yet so we need these alternate thinkers to get the job done."

Just about everyone we meet is immediately drawn to our cute boy but still we just want to set a little reminder that he is working hard everyday to blaze his trail.

My babes taking charge and ordering everyone to join him in ring around the rosie.



Thanks For Including My Son

This week my son went with the entire Kindergarten on a field trip to the local fire house. We walked two-ish miles round trip and it was pretty fun. I was excited that he walked without complaining one time and that he did his best to stay quiet during the presentation. I brought snacks and books and we went off to take little breaks when he got bored but overall he did a great job. His favorite word is currently "NO" so when we first asked if he wanted to go inside the fire truck he of course said he did not want to but eventually he changed his mind and took his obligatory photo.

 

The field trip itself was not actually the highlight of the day. We went with all of his general education peers and one of the boys that was there was part of the buddy program and I had been wanting to meet him. My son's teachers have told me about this particular boy and that he asks to be with my son and enjoys his company. Last week was his birthday and even though he celebrated with his class, he made sure to send a goodie bag with my boys name on it, home with him in his backpack. When I hear about special children I instantly want to meet their parents because while parents aren't responsible for everything their kids do and say, kindness is taught and absorbed starting at birth.

 

I'm always torn with this whole being nice to my son thing because everyone should be kind all the time and simply accepting and embracing a special needs person should not be reward worthy. Still, making someone feel comfortable and included when they otherwise might not feel that way, is really such a kind act and I wanted to make sure this family knew how much their actions mean to my family. I was excited when Nash's teacher told me who the boy was and I was even more excited when I realized his mother had come along on the field trip. I went over to her and tapped her on her shoulder and told her that I wanted her to know that her son is very special and that she is doing a great job. She welled up a little and thanked me and it was really a nice little moment. The kindness and open-mindedness that she has shared with her young son will not only be with him throughout his life but it will be with the people who he touches in his lifetime.

 

I knew the fire station would be a fun experience but I did not know that it would include a wonderful moment of thanks and gratitude.

What's Your Super Power?

I am coming off of a somewhat rocky couple of weeks that I described to my friend best by comparing myself to one of the ladies who carries full baskets over her shoulder on a pole, only I was having a hard time lifting the load.

 While I was picking my son up from school today I noticed a little saying that really affected me. My friend's daughter is in the same class as my son and I noticed that she had a license plate frame that said "I'M RAISING A CHILD WITH AUTISM. WHAT IS  YOUR SUPER POWER?" Immediately my mind started racing. Raising a special needs child really is one hell of a super power. Raising kids in general is super enough (believe me I know I have a typically developing son too) but the constant work and attention that go into helping our children get on a more standard path is literally exhausting. Extremely rewarding too no doubt but we sure do earn our good nights sleep.. just kidding I haven't slept one night in 6.5 years but we absolutely earn our keep.
Having said this, I realized as I drove home still thinking about those words, that so many things we do on a daily basis are really super powers but we are so hard on ourselves or have such high expectations that we don't celebrate our worth nearly enough.

I thought about little things that each of us are good at and how everyone has their own set of unique skills that enhance their super-ness and make them so special. I realized that we all should really take a moment to make a list of all the super skills that we possess. I don't know about wearing a sandwich board with your list but honestly I think it may not be a bad idea. Why don't we celebrate the little things we have to offer more often? Why don't we realize that our little skills set us apart from everyone else and that they aren't really that little after all?

I decided to come home and make a list of my top super powers and then ask everyone I know to make a list of their top 3 super powers. Don't be shy. Brag about yourself. It's really time. You don't have to stop at 3 but you can't stop at 2 ;). Here is my list of super powers 1-3.

1. I am raising two amazing children. My son with special needs has a lot of work left to do but he is thriving and he  makes me proud everyday. My typically developing son inspires me everyday, makes me laugh constantly and has proven to me without a doubt that I may not be good at everything but I have motherhood down pat.


2. I make/host an amazing brunch and bake delicious French toast casserole. My nephew is turning 16 next month and 6 months ago he requested that I make it for him on his birthday. That is quite the compliment.

3. My inner cheerleader never takes a day off when it comes to lifting my own spirits or cheering up a friend or family member. There are of course some days when I say she is operating with a sprained ankle but regardless, she is always there to cheer. I don't like to see other people feeling down and I don't like to feel down myself so this inner cheerleader gets her pom poms out the minute negativity is present and she doesn't stop until there are smiles all around.


So that's my list of super powers. What are your super powers?!

 

The Dreaded Denist, Minus The Dread

I have been dreading taking my son to the Dentist for ages. I had taken him to my own Dentist a few years ago but after realizing that the gap in relationship went far beyond just the fact that he wasn't a pediatric specialty, I put the whole teeth thing on the back burner. I still find myself shocked at how many professionals are not in touch with the special needs community but have yet to officially decide if it's because I am so intertwined in the community or if it's because I always had a connection to all kinds of people not just people who are like me.

After talking to some friends in the special needs community and hearing about a wonderful dental practice that specialized in not only children but special needs children, I decided I could no longer bury my head in the sand. I booked the appointment and planned to go see the oldest member of the practice. When we got there I was told that the Doctor had to leave for a family emergency but when I said I was open to other options they didn't make me reschedule. They thought I might only want the one I had chosen but we were flexible and I'm so glad we were. We got the most wonderful Doctor who not only did the actual cleaning for us but did a thorough job in a super short amount of town. We tried to do the cleaning without it but did have to use the papoose board and velcro my little man down. For one second it feels awful to do this to your baby but he quickly became calm and just let her finish her job. The Doctor was sensitive to his sensory sensitivity and finished the cleaning and the x-rays super quickly and with the least invasive techniques that she could offer. Ten minutes after she started he was finished with his cleaning, hugged his mom and was back to playing his ipad and relaxing. I had thought I would need an adult beverage with dinner but I too was calm and relieved with the process.

I love that there are so many aware professionals and practices that can accomodate us and outweigh those that are still out of touch with the many types of children and people that are here to stay. We were told that he did an amazing job and that his teeth looked great. He was easy and wonderful according to the Doc and she would not consider him a tough case by any stretch . Go figure! :). I am glad it's over for another 6 months but I am thrilled with how well the entire process went. N was happily rewarded with a new Dr. Suess book from Mom and Dad and that alone made it worth his while.

You know you picked the right place when your little man has a new obsession with Dr. Suess books and

the waiting room is equipped with a copy of every single book in the series. This kid was in his glory!



A Carnival Not A Fair

Today, the special needs department at our camp had a great fundraiser carnival. I was VERY careful all weekend when I told N that we were going because if I had said fair (his favorite place on earth) he would have expected rides and roller coasters. This little indoor carnival delivered big time. He had the best time jumping in the bounce houses, sliding down the giant slides, making a swirl paint frisbee and filling a plastic necklace with sand. The games were great the prizes were fun but nothing can compare to the air brush tattoos that he got. I only hope he can concentrate at school tomorrow because he is so excited to look at them constantly. A great fundriaser and a fun "carnival."

A little nervous but mostly happy to see the giant Tiger

 

First tattoo. Mario!

Boy have we come a long way. Almost at the top of that giant ladder The cute girl taking the picture said it

was "her job to take pictures of kids having fun." She was a cutie pie. Took pictures while jumping in the bounce house. I love clever kids! Sorry if the guy in front didn't mean to make it into the shot.

 

The final product. Amazing! 

"Angry Bird and Mario, Angry Bird and Mario."

 

 

 

 



This Is The Epitome Of "Included"

My son is on two class lists. His special needs class has 5 students and his main stream class has 28 or so. He spends time with both classes each day but without seeing him in action, I really never know how included he is and whether or not the kids know who he is. For Valentines day we got a list from his main stream teacher and his name was on it but I honestly didn't know if all of the students got that list or if he was added for our smaller class. Today was the big day. He had a party in each classroom and made ice cream sundaes in one and decorated cookies in the other. He passed out all 39 (some to teachers) of his valentines and I was told he too would have a bag that he had made to receive Valentines of his own. I am ecstatic to say that he was more than included. He was treated as one of the their own BY BOTH classes!
Next to Halloween this is the most candy this boy has been given and he also got a ton of sweet cards and trinkets. Nothing feels as wonderful as knowing that your boy is being accepted and included. Hooray for Valentines Day!!